All-Nighters is an exploration of insomnia, sleep and the nocturnal life.
My insomnia always begins with me falling asleep. I%u2019ve been reading the same paragraph for the last five minutes %u2014 the text is suddenly impossibly dense %u2014 and I can feel the book getting heavier and heavier in my hands. Gravity is tugging on my eyelids.
And then, just as my mind turns itself off, I twitch awake. I%u2019m filled with disappointment. I was so close to a night of sweet nothingness, but now I%u2019m back, eyes wide open in the dark. I dread the hours of boredom; I%u2019m already worried about the tiredness of tomorrow.Because insomnia is triggered, at least in part, by anxiety about insomnia, the worst thing we can do is think about not being able to sleep.
Why did my brain wake itself up? What interrupted my slumber? To understand this frustrating mental process, let%u2019s play a simple game with only one rule: Don%u2019t think about white bears. You can think about anything else, but you can%u2019t think about that. Ready? Take a deep breath, focus, and banish the animals from your head.
You just lost the game. Everyone does. As Dostoevsky observed in %u201CWinter Notes on Summer Impressions%u201D: %u201CTry to avoid thinking of a white bear, and you will see that the cursed thing will come to mind every minute.%u201D In fact, whenever we try not to think about something that something gets trapped in the mind, stuck in the recursive loop of self-consciousness. Our attempt at repression turns into an odd fixation.
This human frailty has profound consequences. Dan Wegner, a psychologist at Harvard, refers to the failure as an %u201Cironic%u201D mental process. Whenever we establish a mental goal %u2014 such as trying not to think about white bears, or sex, or a stressful event %u2014 the goal is accompanied by an inevitable follow-up thought, as the brain checks to see if we%u2019re making progress. The end result, of course, is that we obsess over the one thing we%u2019re trying to avoid. As Wegner notes, %u201CThe mind appears to search, unconsciously and automatically, for whatever thought, action, or emotion the person is trying to control. %u2026 This ironic monitoring process can actually create the mental contents for which it is searching.%u201D
These ironic thoughts reveal an essential feature of the human mind, which is that it doesn%u2019t just think: it constantly thinks about how it thinks. We%u2019re insufferably self-aware, like some post-modern novel, so that the brain can%u2019t go for more than a few seconds before it starts calling attention to itself. This even applies to thoughts we%u2019re trying to avoid, which is why those white bears are so inescapable.
What does this have to do with sleep? For me, insomnia is my white bear. My conscious goal is to fall asleep, which then causes my unconscious to continually check up on whether or not I%u2019m achieving my goal. And so, after passing out for 30 seconds, I%u2019m woken up by my perverse brain. (Most animals lack such self-aware thoughts, which is why our pets never have trouble taking a nap.)
In a study published in 1996 in the journal of Behavior Research and Therapy, Wegner and colleagues investigated the ironic monitoring process in the context of sleep. The experiment was simple: 110 undergraduates were randomly divided into two groups. The first group was told to fall asleep %u201Cwhenever you want,%u201D while the second group was instructed to fall asleep %u201Cas fast as you can.%u201D To make matters more interesting, the scientists also varied the background music, with some students falling asleep to a loud John Phillip Sousa march and others drifting off to %u201Csleep-conducive new age music.%u201D
Here%u2019s where the data gets interesting: subjects who were instructed to fall asleep quickly took far longer to fall asleep, at least while listening to Sousa%u2019s marching music. Because they became anxious about being able to fall asleep to the upbeat tune, all of their effort backfired, so that they would lie awake in frustration. Instead of just letting themselves drift off into dreamland, they kept on checking to see if they were still awake, and that quick mental check woke them up.
Wegner and colleagues suggest that this paradoxical thought process can explain a large amount of chronic insomnia, which occurs after we get anxious about not achieving our goal. The end result is a downward spiral, in which our worry makes it harder to pass out, which only leads to more worry, and more ironic frustration. I wake myself up because I%u2019m trying too hard to fall asleep.
One of the paradoxical implications of this research is that reading this article probably made your insomnia worse. So did that Ambien advertisement on television, or the brief conversation you had with a friend about lying awake in bed, or that newspaper article about the mental benefits of R.E.M. sleep. Because insomnia is triggered, at least in part, by anxiety about insomnia, the worst thing we can do is think about not being able to sleep; the diagnosis exacerbates the disease. And that%u2019s why this frustrating condition will never have a perfect medical cure. Insomnia is ultimately a side-effect of our consciousness, the price we pay for being so incessantly self-aware. It is, perhaps, the quintessential human frailty, a reminder that the Promethean talent of the human mind %u2014 this strange ability to think about itself %u2014 is both a blessing and a burden.
Jonah Lehrer is a contributing editor at Wired Magazine. He%u2019s the author of %u201CHow We Decide%u201D and %u201CProust Was A Neuroscientist%u201D and blogs at The Frontal Cortex.
This is my wife and I, but I get so much done in the middle of the night :-)